Give Yourself the Gift of Deep Relaxation!

Here is a 15 minute hypnotic induction to help you relax.  It starts with suggestions to help you physically relax and let go, then takes you into deeper relaxation on a warm beach.  It includes a number of helpful suggestions for self-confidence and ease.

I use this both as a restful power nap as well as a great way to enter a deeply nourishing night’s sleep.

This and other inductions are a great way to learn to relax more easily and more deeply.  It is so important to allow your nervous system to rest.  Use this and similar inductions to recharge your system so that you are ready to re-engage with your activities with more effective energy and focus!

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Decide on what you want so you can get it!

In order to learn, grow and make systematic change in yourself and your life, it is helpful to focus your efforts on one thing at a time.  One way to do this is to use the Life in Balance: The 7 Keys (see the free report button to the right?) model to define areas you would like to strengthen and then from that menu, choose one thing to focus on at a time.  My clients who are willing to do this make clearly discernable progress on those areas and this naturally feels rewarding and empowering.

There is no right place to start since everything in your life is connected to everything else.  It can be helpful to start with Key 1 and build towards Key 7, but go with what feels right for you.  I will typically ask you what you would like to work on at the start of our relationship and at the start of each session.  If you have decided what you want you are far more likely to be able to get it.

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What do you want in a relationship?

Happy Valentine’s all!  Here is another blog on relationships, if this catches your attention, consider joining us in for our upcoming workshop on Love, Sex and Intimacy!

“If you really loved me you would know what I wanted!”  Have you ever felt that way (or heard that)?  I have.  I would love to have my wife psychicly tune into my every desire and meet it.  Peeled grapes?  Already at hand.  A little firmer touch?  No problem, she would know my desire before I even asked.  Unfortunately, I am no longer in the womb, so I actually have to participate in creating what I want.  Bummer!

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How to get the most out of counseling with me

Psychotherapy is costly both in terms of time and money.  Here are some ideas on how to make your investment in therapy as useful as possible.  You don’t have to use all of these suggestions, and these are not rigid rules that you must follow.  However, paying attention to these will improve your experience in therapy.

First off, make sure that you feel good about me and my approach.  Therapy is most effective when you are completely open with me, so take your sense of safety with me seriously.  If you are cautious to talk with me about certain things, the reason for your caution is something we should talk about.

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Earth Protector’s Dance

The Earth Protector Dance:

Nando Raynolds   541-821-6623

This dance is designed to be done in gatherings of all kinds.  Do the dance at the level of physicality that feels good to you with a natural feel, a pattern of movement that feels personally congruent, and that is an expression of your personal feelings of each statement.  It is designed as both an energizing action and a display of personal and group unity and resolve.

These movements draw primarily from the martial arts and qigong traditions. “Display” type dances of this kind have been performed by many traditional cultures.  We offer this dance with respect and humility as a starting point for the development of dances of this type.

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Effective Conflict Resolution – Non-Violence and Time Outs

Fighting Fair and Functionally: More on creating a functional conflict resolution pattern – Agreeing to Non-violence and Time Outs

I hope you have been thinking about how to reduce pain in your relationships by improving your conflict resolution strategies. Here is a little more about this. In my first Blog on this topic, I talked about the 5 steps at the core of an effective pattern:

  1. Make An Appointment– schedule a time to have the conversation
  2. Mutual Respectful Listening – each person takes turns speaking and listening. Take any necessary time outs – do what you need to do to stay calm and respectful!
  3. Brainstorm solutions – be creative and bring your sense of humor
  4. Negotiate – agree on a solution
  5. Re-assess – fine tune your solution at an agreed upon future time

These steps work best within a shared commitment to non-violence. In some ways this goes without saying, almost everyone would like to have relationships that are non-violent. However, many people have old habits that allow some forms of violence and most people get violent when upset.

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Relationships Need A Conflict Resolution Protocol

One of my specializations is helping couples resolve conflict.  I have found that all deeply successful relationships have an effective conflict resolution protocol.  It may be formal or not, but both parties are happy with it and follow it as needed.  This and my other posts on this topic will help you develop your own protocol.  Doing so is one of the most loving things you can do for others.. as well as yourself!

Here is a pattern for loving friends and companions to follow to increase mutual understanding and reduce emotional injury.

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My movement background…

I have been playing Taiji since 1978. I started with Cheng Man-Ch’ing’s form and have studied with a number of Yang style traditions. My practice includes sword and saber, standing meditation and qigong. I have also studied a little Wu style, some Bagua, some Aikido and a bunch of Karate and Kenpo. I have my third degree black belt in Daimon Ryu Kenpo Karate.
I also have a background in massage – used to do that professionally as well as having taught prelicensing classes in Oregon.
Over the years I have studied a bit of Feldenkrais, Rosen work, Polarity, Shiatsu, Connective Tissue work, Authentic Movement, Continuum, Alexander technique, and Kentro.
I love partner play, whether we are sparring, doing push hands or dancing. The latter has led me to square and contra dancing, ballroom and Contact Improvisation.
I love the martial side of Taiji, and as I’ve gotten older, my interest goes more to the moving meditation aspects of Taiji. This is drawing me to take my love of push hands and apply what I learn there to relationships in general.
A pet peeve of mine is that those who study one movement art can be so ignorant of the broad field of Somatics and movement in general. This is particularly true in T’ai Chi and other martial arts. In my view, the task of Western Taiji authors is to demystify the art. This means writing in clear English, grounding the art in accurate physical descriptions including specific bones and muscles, and it means connecting Taiji to other movement arts. My wish is that this blog will help students of one art broaden their studies and see that all these somatic practices are studying the human body.

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T’ai Chi “how to” books and DVDs

Each year there are more “How to” books and DVDs on Taiji form. This is a good thing. As more people become exposed to Taiji, the benefits of practice will become more apparent. However, we should all recognize that it is very difficult to learn form well from a DVD and even harder from a book.

Books and DVDs are great support for beginners taking classes and can allow more advanced students to compare the details of one form or interpretation to another. There are also sets of DVDs (Jiang Jian-ye’s or George Xu’s, for instance) that serve as archives of many different forms and allow those who do not have access to teachers locally to get an introduction to these forms. Even for an advanced student, however, it remains challenging to learn a brand new form well from a DVD.

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