Fight to preserve your relationship!

Face it, in any longer term relationship, conflicts will arise.  How you handle these will determine whether the relationship endures or goes down in flames.  This is true in romance, in the family and in business.  Become skillful
at fighting fair and avoid inadvertently killing off the good feelings at the base of any successful relationship.

The research says that relationships need 5 times as much good stuff as bad stuff for people to want to stay in them.  This means that the fastest way to improve a relationship is to decrease the bad.  You can’t avoid or ignore conflict – this will kill off the relationship also, so you have to get good at facing and resolving conflict in a way that is as painless as possible. read more

The Neurology of Change

Change and learning require your brain to develop new neurons and new connections. Understanding your neurology helps you manage your own learning more effectively, reducing frustration and increasing your success.  Check out this brief video on Youtube and subscribe to my channel!

The Ecology of Change

When you change, it impacts both you and your social system – for successful changes, make sure to assess the ecological impact the change will have in all these systems!  Otherwise you may be frustrated in your attempt to change and this will just drain your energy.  If a change you want to make has negative impacts in the lives of others, they may actively sabotage your efforts to grow.

Use Skill Power, Not Will Power

People sometimes feel badly that they do not have the will to stick to a change when actually they need more skill or other resources.  For best success, focus on building your skills and resources, don’t rely on your will to change! Check out this video to learn more and subscribe to my YouTube channel!

The Process of Learning

Have you ever tried to change and encountered unexpected challenges?  Here is a short video about the process of learning.  The more you understand this, the better you will be able to predict what to expect as you learn anything new.  This prevents discouragement and frustration and will make you far more successful.

Check this out and subscribe to my Youtube Channel!

Using Focusing to unpack your feelings

Focusing is a simple approach developed by Eugene Gendlin for uncovering the meaning behind subtle feelings and emotions. Use it to increase your self-awareness.

Check out this short video and use Focusing to understand your subtle gut feelings and build sensitivity and wisdom!