6 Steps to Manage Your Bad Moods and Reduce Suffering

Bad moods are the result of holding painful emotions over time.  Your emotions are messages that inform you that you either are, or are not, getting what you want.  Painful emotions like anger, sadness, fear, shame and loneliness indicate that you are not getting what you want.

If you do not respond to your emotions, you will continue to stew in them and they will become moods.  Bad moods create a great deal of suffering and are rarely useful.  Here are 7 steps to follow to manage bad moods and reduce the amount of time you spend in a funk.

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Empowering Differences Between Emotions and Moods

Emotions are often called “feelings” because they create characteristic patterns of tension and sensation in the body.  They are usually the motivating energy behind what you do.  Emotions held over time are called “moods” and gaining influence over your moods is extremely useful.

An interesting experiment was done where volunteers had their brains briefly electro-stimulated in certain areas.  In some areas, the stimulation would immediately bring up an emotion – perhaps anger or grief.  Once the stimulation stopped, the emotion would also stop.  If the stimulation was maintained, however, soon the person’s biochemistry would start to change and their physical body would take on the tension patterns of the emotion as well.

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Reduce Distresss and Reconnect with the Best in Yourself Fast!

Here is an easy method for reducing distress and reconnecting with the best in yourself.  Everyone should have a rich toolkit of these sorts of techniques.

  1. Notice that you are having an internal experience that you would like to change.  Cues might be physical tension, stress, boredom, spaciness or something else.
  2. Make a sincere effort to shift your focus from your mind or emotions to the area around your heart.  If it works in the situation, actually put a hand gently on your heart area.  Feel the warmth there and pretend you are breathing through your heart to help you keep your attention there.  Keep that up for 10 seconds or more.
  3. Recall a positive, fun feeling or experience you have had in your life and attempt to re-experience it.
  4. Now using intuition, common sense and sincerity, ask your heart for any advice on dealing with the stress, letting go of the past pain or reconnecting with the best in yourself.
  5. Listen with gratitude to your inner wisdom and resolve to act upon it.

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7 Ways To Stay Centered In These Difficult Times

I am dismayed at the political state of the United States.  Many of my clients feel scared, sad and hopeless about it.  How do we remain emotionally centered and resilient in these difficult times?  I know that I am most effective in whatever I am doing when I am in a good emotional space.  Allowing external circumstances to drag me down is only going to undermine my value to others and drain my energy for doing the work that is necessary.  So how do we remain hopeful and optimistic despite the discouraging news?

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Give Yourself the Gift of Deep Relaxation!

Here is a 15 minute hypnotic induction to help you relax.  It starts with suggestions to help you physically relax and let go, then takes you into deeper relaxation on a warm beach.  It includes a number of helpful suggestions for self-confidence and ease.

I use this both as a restful power nap as well as a great way to enter a deeply nourishing night’s sleep.

This and other inductions are a great way to learn to relax more easily and more deeply.  It is so important to allow your nervous system to rest.  Use this and similar inductions to recharge your system so that you are ready to re-engage with your activities with more effective energy and focus!

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Decide on what you want so you can get it!

In order to learn, grow and make systematic change in yourself and your life, it is helpful to focus your efforts on one thing at a time.  One way to do this is to use the Life in Balance: The 7 Keys (see the free report button to the right?) model to define areas you would like to strengthen and then from that menu, choose one thing to focus on at a time.  My clients who are willing to do this make clearly discernable progress on those areas and this naturally feels rewarding and empowering.

There is no right place to start since everything in your life is connected to everything else.  It can be helpful to start with Key 1 and build towards Key 7, but go with what feels right for you.  I will typically ask you what you would like to work on at the start of our relationship and at the start of each session.  If you have decided what you want you are far more likely to be able to get it.

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What do you want in a relationship?

Happy Valentine’s all!  Here is another blog on relationships, if this catches your attention, consider joining us in for our upcoming workshop on Love, Sex and Intimacy!   https://www.facebook.com/events/1884365738472695/

“If you really loved me you would know what I wanted!”  Have you ever felt that way (or heard that)?  I have.  I would love to have my wife psychicly tune into my every desire and meet it.  Peeled grapes?  Already at hand.  A little firmer touch?  No problem, she would know my desire before I even asked.  Unfortunately, I am no longer in the womb, so I actually have to participate in creating what I want.  Bummer!

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How to get the most out of counseling with me

Psychotherapy is costly both in terms of time and money.  Here are some ideas on how to make your investment in therapy as useful as possible.  You don’t have to use all of these suggestions, and these are not rigid rules that you must follow.  However, paying attention to these will improve your experience in therapy.

First off, make sure that you feel good about me and my approach.  Therapy is most effective when you are completely open with me, so take your sense of safety with me seriously.  If you are cautious to talk with me about certain things, the reason for your caution is something we should talk about.

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